I’m going through the Wine Withdrawls of Lent.
But I’m still thankful I didn’t give up the bacon!
- You can eat bacon all day/night long, remember it, and not be hungover the next day
- You can legally purchase it 24/7/365
- You can get all crunked (cruncht?) on bacon and pass a sobriety test
- You can achieve your RDA of sodium in just a few bites
- You can make people laugh by confessing you’re a bacon-holic
- No one can make you go to bacon rehab, because it doesn’t exist!
- You can safely and legally distribute it to minors
- You can eat it in the car, at a park, at church, in fine restaurants, at work, etc
- You don’t have to pay bacon tax or be 21 to purchase it
- You can show up “smelling like bacon” and no one will fire, divorce you, or otherwise get upset and do something dramatic
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